Weddings By DJ Kurtis Cross
Apr 4, 2025
Who's in & who's out... without the guilt
When planning a wedding, few tasks cause as much stress as finalizing the guest list. Between family expectations, budget limitations, and venue capacity, it can feel like you need a PhD in diplomacy just to decide who makes the cut. The good news? With a clear strategy, you can craft a guest list that reflects your values, your budget, and most importantly, the kind of celebration you want.
Start with Your Vision
Before you jot down names, take a step back and let's go "Big Picture" herey. Is your dream wedding an intimate gathering with your closest loved ones, or a grand celebration with everyone you’ve ever known? The size of your guest list will shape the tone, energy, and cost of your wedding, so align on your vision as a couple first.
Who to Invite
Think of your list in layers:
Immediate Family - Parents, siblings, and grandparents are almost always at the top. These are your “must-haves” and the foundation of your list.
Close Extended Family - Aunts, uncles, and cousins you’re genuinely close to should be next. If you wouldn’t recognize someone in passing, they may not belong on this tier.
Inner Circle of Friends - This means the people you actively share life with. These are the friends who celebrate your milestones, support you during challenges, and would notice if they weren’t invited.
Important Mentors or Influences - Sometimes it’s a coach, teacher, or longtime family friend who has played a meaningful role in your life. If their absence would feel strange to you, consider including them.
Who Not to Invite
Saying “no” is hard, but necessary. Here are some clear boundaries you can use:
Distant Connections - Childhood neighbors you haven’t seen in 10+ years, coworkers from three jobs ago, or casual acquaintances don’t need to make the list.
Plus-Ones You Don’t Know - If you’ve never met your cousin’s new partner and the relationship is only a few months old, it’s perfectly acceptable to skip their plus-one.
Family Obligations That Feel Forced - Just because your parents’ second cousin invited them to their wedding doesn’t mean you owe an invitation in return.
Toxic Relationships - Anyone who would bring stress, drama, or tension to your day should not receive an invitation. No exceptions. Your wedding is about joy and peace, not conflict.
Any "Ex" - Anyone who is a part of your romantic past... Absolutely not.
The “One-Year Rule”
A helpful test is to ask: Have I spoken to this person in the last year? If the answer is no, they may not need to be there on your wedding day.
Practical Tips for Managing the List
Set a Guest Count Limit Early - Let your venue and budget guide the maximum.
Divide Fairly Between Families - Agree on a rough percentage split so everyone feels represented.
Use a Spreadsheet - Organize names by categories (family, friends, work, etc.) to see where the list is heavy.
Be Honest with Yourself - If the thought of inviting someone feels like an obligation rather than a joy, trust your instincts.
Our Perspective
Your wedding guest list is not just a headcount, it’s the circle of people who will witness and celebrate one of the most meaningful days of your life. Surround yourself with those who bring you joy, love, and support. When you look back on your photos, you’ll want to see faces that made your day brighter, not those who were there out of obligation.
Remember, this is your wedding. Choose with intention, and you’ll create a guest list that feels perfect for you.